


458. fake smiles

by piggy09



Series: The Sestre Daily Drabble Project [84]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 16:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8109037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: When Sarah signed the contract, she figured there'd be testing and bloodwork and other, worse things. She didn't guess that she would be trotted out at parties.





	

The DYAD has done something with Helena’s hair – straightened it, put product in it, _something_. Because now it looks pretty. Helena, with makeup and – _something_ – and the dress she’s wearing, looks pretty.

But it’s like watching some demon possess pretty-Helena – it’s the way she moves. Jerky. Uncontrolled. Obviously terrified.

“It’s just a party,” Sarah says, as if she believes it. She’s wearing a dress too. An actual _team_ of blank-faced technicians had swarmed on her, wielding straightening irons and mascara wands, and it was only the phantom weight of her contract-shackles around her wrist that held her down. The weight of her own signature, the chain links of dotted lines.

“I’ve never been to a party,” Helena says. “I don’t want to go to this one. Why do papers mean we have to go to parties.”

“I have no idea,” Sarah says bluntly. “But we signed ‘em, so we have to.”

“We could run,” Helena says. She’s pacing in circles; underneath her long skirt her feet are bare. They definitely gave her heels. Sarah doesn’t even want to know where they are.

“No we can’t,” Sarah says.

Helena sighs, loud and long. “For Kira.”

“For Kira,” Sarah says. “And the others, and Cosima’s cure, and so we don’t…” She wants to say _so we don’t spend the rest of our lives running_ , but those aren’t her words. She doesn’t know whose words they are, and that terrifies her.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Helena says. Her head tilts to one side, rusty machinery. “Is that bad.”

“No,” Sarah says. “No, I’m – I’m glad you’re here too.” She doesn’t know if it’s true. Helena will be a terror at this party – god help whatever waiter is serving canapes – but Sarah is glad she’s here because it means that Cosima isn’t here, and Alison isn’t here, and at least _some_ members of her family are safe.

Helena and Sarah are here because of their wombs. Sarah isn’t thinking about it. Rather: she keeps telling herself that she’s not thinking about it, but that is a repeated lie. She can’t think about anything else, except the word _fertile_ coming out of the doctor’s mouth like a ruby on the tongue. Like it’s _worth_ something, bought or sold.

“You look pretty,” Helena says softly, apparently sensing something terrible in the silence. Sarah is thinking about the press of Helena’s hand over her belly but then she _stops_ thinking about that, blinks, readjusts.

“Yeah,” she croaks. “You too. Bet they had to use a bloody rake to get through those curls, yeah?”

This doesn’t get any sort of laugh; instead Helena wilts, cups her elbows with her hands. “They held me down,” she says. “So I fought. And I hurt one of them. And they were very angry.”

“Helena,” Sarah says, hating herself for every syllable, “you have to – let them – you have to let them, yeah? It’s just…” she fumbles for a word but can’t get one, finishes lamely: “easier.”

“I don’t want it to be easier,” Helena says, brow furrowed. “I want it to be hard. For them. I want them to be sorry for doing this to you.” She blinks, hastily adds: “And me. Us.”

“It’s just a party,” Sarah says. It doesn’t sound any more true this time. “They’ll have – hors d'oeuvres, and shit, it’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

“Okay, Sarah,” Helena says, voice flat and unconvinced. She perks up slightly. “But we’ll learn. How to destroy them. From the inside outside! Like a disease.”

“Yeah,” Sarah says. “Yeah, like – like a disease. We’ll get ‘em.”

“I know,” Helena says, with perfect confidence. One of her curls is already reforming, in a tendril by her face. Sarah wonders how long it will take for all of the DYAD’s work to be undone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please kudos + comment if you enjoyed! :)


End file.
